10-10

photo by Li Yang. taken from Unsplash.com

Sometimes I wonder if adult life is supposed to be this confusing. This lonely. This lost. This hard. This sad. This tired. This painful. This uneasy. This unfulfilling. This unsatisfying.

Probably I took the wrong path?

I was thinking why I took it harder this time. I was at my down and lowest. Everything seems to go unwell and too much. Life, work, friendship, family. Everything. All is overwhelming. That's a lot to endure. And probably sounds silly to put it all in this blog because who the fuck read about personal thing, nowadays? Who treat their blog as their diary and not a space to show off? But then again, I don't want to remember as someone I'm not. I'm raw, brutally honest, outspoken, no is a no, a caution to stay away at one's loudest. I have trust issues, I hate 99% of the population. But I'm also shouting don't leave me alone. I put up walls and gates and doors but also throw away the keys to everyone.

I'm going to put those up as my intro. Yeah.

I'm sorry. For posting such negative things while everyone seem to enjoy life and here I am being as gloomy as the weather. The weather got me. Depression and anxiety got me. Every negative vibes got me. Here's a playlist. Enjoy.

Have a better day/week/month/year.

* 10-10 is police code for "fight in progress". Which is ill-fitting to my condition right now. Also I'm drowning in everything. But I still have fight in me, in which I can only do my best.

** Just a heads up: next week will be more gloomy.

*** And probably a new layout too. Sorry.

**** Being INFP and aquarius and blood type o at the same time sucks.